[MUSIC]
>> OKAY, FREDDIE'S NEVER LATE
FOR iCARLY. ARE YOU WORRIED?
>> IF I WASN'T WORRIED,
WOULD I BE DRINKING WATER
WITH THIS EXPRESSION ON MY FACE?
>> SORRY. I WAS WATCHIN'
THIS SHOW ON THE TECH CHANNEL
THAT WAS REALLY--
>> HEY!
>> MILLIONS OF PEOPLE ARE
SIGNING ON TO iCARLY.COM
RIGHT NOW, SO COULD YOU PLEASE
PICK UP YOUR PRETTY LITTLE
CAMERA AND COUNT BACKWARDS
FROM FIVE?
>> OKAY, IN FIVE, FOUR, THREE,
TWO...
>> HI! WELCOME TO iCARLY.
Both: HEY!
>> OKAY, TONIGHT ON iCARLY,
WE'RE GONNA DO ONE OF OUR
FAVORITE SEGMENTS.
>> ONE WE LIKE TO CALL...
Both: "WHO'S THAT WEIRDO
IN MY NEIGHBORHOOD?"
[BEEP, AUDIENCE CHEERING]
>> YOU SEE, FREDDIE...
>> OUR TECHNICAL WEENIE...
>> PRODUCER!
>> HE MOUNTS A SECRET
LITTLE CAMERA RIGHT OUTSIDE
THIS BUILDING...
>> THEN AIMS IT AT THE BUS STOP
ACROSS THE STREET.
>> AND THIS WEEK, WE FOUND
THE BIGGEST WEIRDO YET.
Carly: GO, FREDDIE.
>> PLAYBACK.
Carly: THERE HE IS, PEELING
A BANANA WHILE HE WAITS
FOR THE BUS.
>> NOW, YOU THINK HE'S GONNA
EAT THE BANANA, RIGHT?
>> WELL, THINK AGAIN!
>> YEP, THERE HE GOES.
>> CHEWIN' THE PEEL.
>> WHAT A FREAK.
>> AND THAT'S WHY
THE NEW CHAMPION OF "WHO'S THAT
WEIRDO IN MY NEIGHBORHOOD?" IS--
Both: CRAZY FRUIT DUDE!
[AUDIENCE CHEERING]
>> CONGRATULATIONS,
CRAZY FRUIT DUDE.
>> AND LET'S NOT FORGET TO SAY
A BIG THANK YOU...
>> TO A FORMER CHAMPION
OF "WHO'S THAT WEIRDO
IN MY NEIGHBORHOOD?"...
>> GREEN HAIRED OLD LADY...
>> WHO SUCKS ON A BABY PACIFIER!
[AUDIENCE CHEERING]
Both: HUH? HUH? HUH? HUH? HUH?
Freddie: IN FIVE, FOUR,
THREE, TWO...
>> * I KNOW, YOU'LL SEE
SOMEHOW THE WORLD
WILL CHANGE FOR ME,
AND BE SO WONDERFUL,
LIVE LIFE, BREATHE AIR,
I KNOW SOMEHOW
WE'RE GONNA GET THERE,
AND FEEL SO WONDERFUL *
* IT'S ALL FOR REAL,
I'M TELLIN' YOU
JUST HOW I FEEL,
SO WAKE UP THE MEMBERS
OF MY NATION,
IT'S YOUR TIME TO BE,
THERE'S NO CHANCE
UNLESS YOU TAKE ONE,
AND THE TIME TO SEE
THE BRIGHTER SIDE
OF EVERY SITUATION,
SOME THINGS ARE MEANT TO BE,
SO GIVE ME YOUR BEST
AND LEAVE THE REST TO ME,
LEAVE IT ALL TO ME,
JUST LEAVE IT ALL TO ME *
[MUSIC]
>> "CRACK TWO EGGS IN A BOWL."
"BUT ONLY THE EGGS WHITES--"
AW!
COME HERE, YOU LITTLE YOLKS.
>> HEY, SPENCER.
>> WHAT'S UP?
>> HEY, LITTLE SISTER
AND HER TWO FRIENDS
WHO NEVER SEEM TO HANG OUT
AT THEIR OWN HOMES.
>> WHATCHA COOKIN' THERE,
HANDSOME?
>> EVERYTHING. MY FRIEND SOCKO'S
HAVIN' A BIRTHDAY PARTY
NEXT WEEK, AND I'M IN CHARGE
OF ALL THINGS FOOD
AND/OR FOOD-ISH.
[DOORBELL RINGS]
I'LL GET IT.
FREDDIE, HOLD THESE EGG YOLKS.
>> BUT--WAIT, WAIT, WAIT!
>> HI.
>> HI. I'M DETECTIVE TRAGG,
SEATTLE POLICE DEPARTMENT.
>> FREDDIE, TAKE MY BACKPACK.
>> UH, WHAT CAN I DO FOR YA?
>> I'D LIKE TO TALK
WITH THE KIDS.
>> YOU CAN'T PROVE ANYTHING!
>> RELAX. YOU GUYS AREN'T
IN ANY KIND OF TROUBLE, OKAY?
MY DAUGHTER'S A BIG FAN
OF YOUR WEB SHOW, iCARLY.
>> OH!
>> I WAS WATCHING THE SHOW
WITH HER LAST NIGHT,
AND WE NOTICED A MAN,
A SUSPECT WE'VE BEEN
TRYING TO CATCH.
>> CRAZY FRUIT DUDE?
>> NO, WE'RE ACTUALLY
AFTER A GUY WHO WALKED BEHIND
CRAZY FRUIT DUDE...
INTO THAT CONVENIENCE STORE
ACROSS THE STREET.
YOU GUYS RECORD
ALL OF YOUR WEB SHOWS?
>> YEAH. EVERYTHING'S ARCHIVED.
DO YOU WANT ME TO BRING YOU
AND MPEG OF IT?
>> WHAT'S AN MPEG?
>> IT'S A COMPUTER VIDEO FILE.
>> YEAH. MPEG STANDS FOR
"MEGA-PIXEL ELECTRONIC GALLERY."
>> WRONG! MPEG STANDS FOR
"MOVING PICTURE EXPERTS GROUP."
>> "MEGA-PIXEL
ELECTRONIC GALLERY."
>> MOVING PICTURE
EXPERTS GROUP."
>> CAN'T WE JUST SAY MPEG STANDS
FOR "MOST PIMPLES ENJOY GRAVY"
AND MOVE ON?
>> MAY I LOOK OUT YOUR WINDOW?
>> I WAS HOPING YOU'D ASK.
>> SORRY, BUT I'M RIGHT.
>> SAM, STOP IT.
>> YOU WANNA BET?
>> NO, SHE DOESN'T.
>> YEAH, I WANNA BET.
>> HOW COME I CAN HEAR ME?
>> OKAY, IT'S A BET.
AND...LOSER HAS TO GET
A TATTOO OF THE WINNER'S FACE.
>> OH, YOU'RE ON!
>> BUT YOU'RE GONNA BE
PRETTY UPSET WHEN YOU HAVE TO
GET A TATTOO OF MY FACE
ON YOUR...
YOU'RE RIGHT.
I LOST.
>> AND NOW, MY FACE WILL FOREVER
BECOME A PART OF YOUR SKIN.
WHAA!
>> YEAH, THIS WINDOW HAS A GOOD
VIEW OF THAT CONVENIENCE STORE.
YOU KNOW, MY PARTNER AND I
WOULD LIKE TO SET UP A STAKEOUT
HERE FOR A FEW DAYS.
>> OOH, iCARLY HELPS CATCH
A CRIMINAL.
>> UH, SURE. WHO ARE YOU GUYS
TRYIN' TO CATCH?
>> THE CLERK IN THAT
CONVENIENCE STORE.
WE HAVE KNOWLEDGE THAT HE'S
SELLING PIRATED DVDs--
ILLEGAL COPIES OF HIT MOVIES.
Man, on walkie-talkie: TRAGG!
THIS IS STIMBLER!
WHICH APARTMENT IS IT?!
>> HEY, STU, I'M IN 8-C.
MY PARTNER.
>> WAIT, WAIT. YOUR PARTNER'S
NAME IS STU STIMBLER?
>> DETECTIVE STUART STIMBLER.
I'LL GO GET HIM.
>> OH!
OH, NO.
>> WHAT'S WRONG?
>> I WENT TO SLEEP-AWAY CAMP
WITH A KID NAMED STU STIMBLER.
HE WAS THE MEANEST,
MOST OBNOXIOUS BULLY
IN MY WHOLE CABIN.
HIS NICKNAME WAS "SPANKY."
>> WELL, IT'S PROBABLY
NOT THE SAME GUY.
>> YEAH. WHAT ARE THE ODDS
THAT IT WOULD BE--
>> OH! SPENCER!
>> OH, NO!
>> IT'S ME, SPANKY STIMBLER!
>> I SEE YOU!
>> HA!
>> WHY DO THEY CALL HIM SPANKY?
>> I'LL SHOW YOU WHY.
>> NO. NO, NO, NO, NO!
>> SPENCE! COME ON!
>> NO! QUIT IT!
>> WHOO! WHOO! WHOO!
>> THANKS FOR ASKING!
[SPANKY LAUGHING]
[MUSIC]
>> OKAY, I DON'T SEE
ANY CRIMINAL ACTIVITY,
BUT I DO SEE A JOGGER WHO
REALLY SHOULD BE WEARING A BRA.
POOR GUY.
>> AHH! "MOVING PICTURE
EXPERTS GROUP"!
DO YOU REALLY THINK
SAM'S GONNA MAKE ME GET
A TATTOO OF HER FACE?
>> I DON'T KNOW, BUT IF SHE
DOES, WON'T YOUR MOM FREAK?
>> SHE FREAKED WHEN I SPILLED
ONE TINY DROP OF MUSTARD
ON MY CHURCH PANTS.
>> [LAUGHING]
>> WHAT?
>> "CHURCH PANTS."
[ELEVATOR BELL RINGS]
>> WHAT UP, PARTY PEOPLE?
SAY HELLO TO MY COUSIN, ANNIE.
>> HI. I THOUGHT YOU SAID
SHE WAS IN JAIL.
>> OH, PAROLE, BABY.
>> READY, FREDDIE?
>> READY FOR WHAT?
>> ANNIE'S A TATTOO ARTIST.
>> YOU MADE A BET AND YOU LOST.
RIGHT, CARLY?
>> I WANT NO PART OF THIS.
I'M JUST GONNA WATCH
THE BOUNCY JOGGER MAN.
>> SAM, PLEASE!
I'LL DO ANYTHING ELSE.
>> THE DEAL WAS
YOU GET A TATTOO.
>> I KNOW, BUT--
>> SIT.
>> SAM!
>> QUIT WHINING, KID.
GETTIN' A TATTOO AIN'T SO BAD.
>> IT'S NOT?
>> NO. IT JUST HURTS A LOT
AND LASTS FOREVER.
[TATTOO NEEDLE HUMMING]
>> OH, MY GOD!
NOW HE'S DOING JUMPING JACKS!
[MUSIC]
>> HA HA HA HA!
>> OH!
PLEASE, DON'T SPANK ME
WITH MY OWN CUCUMBER!
>> YOU... [LAUGHING]
OOH! TRAGG, THEY GOT PEPPY-COLA!
>> THOSE ARE CARLY'S.
YOU SHOULDN'T TAKE--
Tragg: HEY, YO, GRAB ME ONE,
WOULD YOU?
>> AAH!
[MUSIC]
>> OW.
OW!
SAM, IN TATTOO FORM!
SO AWFUL.
>> HOW ARE YOU HIDING THAT
FROM YOUR MOM?
>> IT'S NOT EASY.
>> YEAH. DOESN'T SHE STILL
GIVE YOU THOSE BI-WEEKLY
BODY INSPECTIONS?
>> NO! I TOLD HER I WAS TOO OLD
FOR THOSE A LONG TIME AGO.
>> YESTERDAY?
>> MAYBE.
>> HEY.
I HAD A PORK POT PIE
IN YOUR FRIDGE FROM LAST WEEKEND
AND ONE OF THOSE COPS
DOWNSTAIRS ATE IT.
>> WELL, THEY DRANK
MY PEPPY-COLA.
>> THEY DID?
>> DO I SEEM PEPPY?
>> NOT REALLY.
>> WELL.
>> HOW MUCH LONGER
ARE THEY GONNA BE HERE?
IT'S BEEN LIKE DAYS.
>> I KNOW. THEY HAVEN'T GOTTEN
ANY GOOD EVIDENCE ON THE GUY
THEY THINK'S SELLING
THOSE PIRATED DVDs.
>> OKAY, GUYS, 10 SECONDS.
>> SHOWTIME, KID.
>> IN FIVE, FOUR, THREE,
TWO...
>> HELLO.
YOU'VE REACHED iCARLY.COM.
>> IF YOU'RE LOOKING
FOR COMEDY...
>> PRESS ONE.
>> IF YOU'RE LOOKING
FOR MY PORK POT PIE...
A COP ATE IT!
>> OKAY. NOW, IF YOU'VE EVER
WONDERED WHAT THE HUMAN BRAIN
SMELLS LIKE...
Freddie: UM...
>> WHAT ARE YOU GUYS DOING?
>> WE GOT SUSPICIOUS ACTIVITY
ACROSS THE STREET.
>> THE VIEW FROM THE DOWNSTAIRS
WINDOW GOT BLOCKED BY A TRUCK.
>> OKAY, iCARLY FANS,
THIS MAY LOOK LIKE WE'RE
TRYING TO DO A COMEDY--
>> SHUT THAT CAMERA DOWN!
>> WE GOT A POLICE INVESTIGATION
GOIN' ON HERE. TURN THAT OFF.
>> YEAH? WELL, MAYBE YOU SHOULD
SHUT YOUR INVESTIGATION DOWN.
>> WE GOT A WEB SHOW HERE.
>> NOT RIGHT NOW, YOU DON'T.
TURN OFF THE CAMERA.
>> NO, NO, NO, NO, NO!
[EVERYONE SHOUTING]
>> SOMEBODY CALL A CONGRESSMAN!
>> I AM STARVING!
>> HEY! TURN THAT OFF!
[STATIC]
[MUSIC]
>> STUPID COPS, NOT CLEANING UP
AFTER THEMSELVES,
INTERRUPTING OUR WEB SHOW,
MAKING ME GRUMBLE TO MYSELF.
>> SOME PEOPLE
JUST HAVE NO MANNERS.
>> ANY IDEA WHEN THE COPS
ARE GONNA ARREST THAT GUY
AND LEAVE?
>> NO, BUT IT BETTER BE SOON,
'CAUSE I'VE HAD IT.
>> YOU THINK YOU'VE HAD IT?
>> YES, I KNOW I'VE HAD IT.
>> ME, TOO! I THOUGHT I WAS RID
OF THAT JERKY STU STIMBLER
YEARS AGO.
HE RUINED CAMP FOR ME!
DO YOU KNOW WHAT IT'S LIKE
TO BE HARASSED EVERY DAY
BY SOME KID?
>> WHERE ARE THOSE COPS ANYWAY?
>> THEY'VE BEEN UPSTAIRS
ALL DAY.
>> WHOA, SPENCER.
DID YOU MAKE THIS CAKE?
>> YEAH. IT'S FOR SOCKO.
SEE, SINCE HE OWNS
HIS OWN SOCK COMPANY,
I MADE HIS BIRTHDAY CAKE
IN THE SHAPE OF A SOCK.
>> THIS IS INCREDIBLE.
>> HOW'D YOU DO THIS?
>> I JUST COMBINED MY SCULPTING
SKILLS WITH MY CAKERY SKILLS,
AND, BOOM, SOCK CAKE.
SHALL WE APPLAUD?
[KNOCK ON DOOR]
>> MAY I COME IN?
WHOOPS, ALREADY IN.
FREDDIE, COME ON.
IT'S TIME FOR OUR CLASS.
SPENCER, YOU HAVE A STAIN
ON YOUR SHIRT.
GO PUT ON A FRESH ONE.
>> [CHUCKLES]
BUT YOU'RE NOT MY MOTHER.
>> MM!
>> I'LL PUT ON A CLEAN SHIRT.
>> MAN, I TOTALLY FORGOT.
>> WHAT?
>> MY MOM SIGNED US UP
FOR MOTHER-SON SYNCHRONIZED
SWIMMING CLASSES.
>> [BOTH LAUGHING]
>> STOP LAUGHING!
WHEN I TAKE OFF MY SHIRT
TO GET IN THE POOL,
SHE'S GONNA SEE MY TATTOO.
I'M DEAD.
Mrs. Benson: FREDDIE?
>> MOM, I DON'T HAVE A SWIMSUIT.
>> WHICH IS WHY I JUST
STOPPED AT MALL-MART
AND BOUGHT YOU THIS.
>> [BOTH LAUGHING]
>> LOOK, MOM...
> LET'S GO.
>> OHH!
>> HAVE FUN.
>> SWIMMING SIMULTANEOUSLY.
>> DAD, I'M BORED!
>> WHAT AM I SUPPOSED TO DO?
>> YOU THINK I'M IRRITATING!
>> I HAVE NEVER SAID
THAT OUT LOUD.
>> UH, WHY DO YOU GUYS
HAVE A CHILD WITH YOU?
>> THAT'S HIS SON.
>> THIS BOTTLE'S EMPTY.
>> HIS NANNY HAD
A NERVOUS BREAKDOWN.
>> GO IN THE KITCHEN AND GET
YOURSELF A CAN OF PEPPY-COLA.
DID YOU BUY MORE?
>> YES.
>> OKAY, GO. YEAH, GO AHEAD.
OKAY...OH, BOY!
>> SO HAVE YOU GENIUSES
GOTTEN YOUR EVIDENCE YET?
YOU KNOW, SO YOU CAN LEAVE?
>> NOT YET.
>> THIS STAKEOUT COULD TAKE
TWO OR THREE MORE WEEKS.
>> WHAT?!
>> WEEKS?!
>> WHY CAN'T YOU JUST GO
ACROSS THE STREET AND ARREST
THE GUY RIGHT NOW?
>> 'CAUSE WE DON'T HAVE PROOF
YET THAT HE'S SELLING
THE ILLEGAL DVDs.
>> HEY, DID MRS. BENSON LEAVE?
>> YEAH.
>> WHY'D SHE TELL ME TO GO
PUT ON A NEW--
>> SPENCER.
>> YOU ATE MY SOCK CAKE.
>> WHAT'S THIS BIG SPOON FOR?
>> YOU ATE MY SOCK CAKE.
WHY WOULD YOU EAT
MY SOCK CAKE? I DON'T EVEN
KNOW WHO YOU ARE.
HOW COULD YOU--OH!
>> YOU'RE OUT OF PEPPY-COLA.
>> AAAAH!
[MUSIC]
>> OKAY, YOU'RE NOT GONNA
BELIEVE THIS.
THOSE COPS HAVE GONE TOO FAR.
SPANKY LET HIS OBNOXIOUS KID
USE MY PEAR-POD
WITHOUT ASKING ME.
>> NO WAY.
>> YES. HE ERASED HALF MY SONGS
AND LEFT IT COVERED
IN LITTLE BOY SPIT.
HEY, FREDDIE.
WHAT HAPPENED IN YOUR
SYNCHRONIZED SWIMMING CLASS?
>> DID YOUR MOM SEE YOUR TATTOO?
>> NO. I KEPT MY SHIRT ON
THE WHOLE TIME.
I TOLD HER I WAS AFRAID
OF GETTIN' A CLOUD BURN.
>> "CLOUD BURN," GOOD ONE.
>> YEAH. TILL SHE DROVE ME
TO SEVEN DIFFERENT DRUGSTORES
LOOKIN' FOR CLOUD BLOCK.
>> YOU GUYS, HELP ME GET RID
OF THOSE ANNOYING COPS.
>> WHY'S IT TAKING SO LONG?
>> THEY SAY THEY NEED
SOLID EVIDENCE THAT THE GUY'S
SELLING PIRATED DVDs.
>> I BET WE COULD
GET EVIDENCE QUICKER
THAN THOSE DOOF-BUTT COPS.
>> YEAH. HOW HARD CAN IT BE
TO CATCH A GUY
SELLING PIRATED DVDs?
WE GO INTO THE STORE UNDERCOVER
AND GET THE EVIDENCE OURSELVES.
>> WAIT, WHAT IF THE GUY'S
DANGEROUS?
>> HALF MY FAMILY'S DANGEROUS.
SO?
>> FREDDIE! FREDDIE!
>> MOM, WHAT ARE YOU DOING HERE?
>> I FOUND CLOUD BLOCK.
[MUSIC]
>> I NEVER WENT UNDERCOVER
BEFORE.
WHAT ARE YOU SUPPOSED TO WEAR?
>> I DON'T KNOW. FREDDIE'S
WEARING A ROBOT COSTUME.
>> HA HA. I'M GONNA WEAR A SHIRT
TO HIDE ALL THIS.
THE IDEA IS JUST TO LOOK NORMAL
AND BLEND IN.
>> WHAT IS ALL THAT STUFF?
>> WELL, THESE ARE MICROPHONES,
THIS IS THE LAPTOP
THAT'LL RECORD IT ALL,
AND THESE THINGS ARE WIRELESS
RECEIVERS THAT'LL PICK UP
THE SIGNAL FROM THE CAMERAS
YOU TWO'LL BE WEARING.
>> WHAT CAMERAS?
>> I BROUGHT THE CAP-CAM
AND THE EYEGLASS-CAM.
>> BETTER.
>> WAY.
>> THERE. HOW DO I LOOK?
>> CHUNKY AND LUMPY.
>> HA, JUST LIKE MY AUNT JUDY
BEFORE SHE GOT THAT OPERATION.
[MUSIC]
>> WELL...OH,
THIS COULD BE OUR GUY!
>> YEAH, LOOK, HE'S GOT THE BAG.
>> I SEE THE BAG!
>> YOU THINK THAT'S OUR GUY?
>> THAT IS DEFINITELY OUR GUY.
>> YOU GOT THE ILLEGAL DVD GUY?
>> NO, THE PIZZA GUY.
WE ORDERED ONE A HALF-HOUR AGO.
>> HOPE YOU DON'T MIND, MAN.
WE USED YOUR CREDIT CARD.
>> NO. THAT'S GOOD NEWS.
>> OH, HEY, I THINK SOMEBODY
DROPPED A CONTACT LENS
RIGHT THERE.
>> WHERE? RIGHT OVER HERE?
>> RIGHT THERE.
>> HA HA HA HA!
SPANKY STRIKES AGAIN!
>> YEAH, HE DOES!
>> HEY, WE'RE GONNA GO OUT
FOR A LITTLE BIT.
>> OKAY. SO WHAT'S WITH THE,
UH...
>> BLESS YOU.
>> I DIDN'T SNEEZE.
>> HEY, YOU'RE REMAKING
SOCKO'S CAKE.
>> YEAH. SO FAR, IT'S COMIN' OUT
ALL RIGHT.
>> WHAT ABOUT THAT HORRIBLE
LITTLE BOY?
>> OH, I WORKED THAT OUT
WITH HIS DAD. HE'S OVER THERE
IN A LARGE PLASTIC TUBE.
>> NICE.
>> SO WHERE YOU GUYS GOIN'?
>> UH, WE'RE JUST GONNA RUN OUT
AND GET SOME, UH...
>> STUFF.
>> OH, UH, I NEED SOME STUFF.
>> YEAH, NOT THAT KIND OF STUFF.
>> BYE.
>> BYE. HAVE FUN.
[TAPPING ON TUBE]
>> YOU'RE DUMB!
[MUSIC]
>> WOW, THIS STORE IS
SO CONVENIENT.
[CAMERA WHIRRING]
>> CAN I HELP YOU?
>> WELL, YOU KNOW THAT MOVIE,
SCARLETT'S WEB?
>> THE SPIDER THING?
>> YEAH, I LOVE THAT MOVIE,
BUT IT'S REALLY EXPENSIVE
TO BUY AT WELL-KNOWN
RETAIL STORES.
>> SO?
>> DO YOU, BY ANY CHANCE,
KNOW WHERE A GIRL MIGHT FIND
A CHEAPER COPY?
HMM?
>> NO.
>> OH. OKAY, THEN.
NOW WHAT?
>> UH, LET ME TRY.
JUST KEEP YOUR CAMERAS
POINTED AT ME.
>> YO, BRO, I'M LOOKIN' FOR
A LITTLE CHEAP ENTERTAINMENT.
HOOK ME UP?
>> HOOK YOU UP WITH WHAT?
>> SOME CHEAP ENTERTAINMENT.
HERE'S SOME CASH.
>> ALL RIGHT.
* CAMPTOWN LADIES
SING YOUR SONG,
DOO-DAH, DOO-DAH,
YANK MY TOE
TILL IT'S FIVE MILES LONG,
OH, THE DOO-DAH DAY *
EVERYBODY!
* YANK MY TOE ALL NIGHT *
>> FORGET IT!
>> SO...I HEAR
YOU SELL MOVIES HERE, CHEAP.
IS THAT TRUE OR WHAT?
>> YEAH, IT'S TRUE.
>> SO YOU DO SELL MOVIES.
>> SURE. GUESS THE WORD'S
GETTING AROUND, HUH?
>> YEAH, THE WORD THAT YOU SELL
PIRATED MOVIES, RIGHT?
>> PIRATE.
>> YEAH, PIRATED,
LIKE ILLEGAL COPIES.
>> NO, NO, NO,
I SELL PIRATE MOVIES.
MOVIES ABOUT PIRATES.
I MAKE 'EM MYSELF
WITH MY BUDDIES.
THIS IS THE FIRST ONE
WE EVER MADE--
SHIVER ME BOOTY.
AND, UH...
OH, WE MADE THIS ONE LAST YEAR.
IT'S CALLED
PIRATES OF THE LIMA BE-AN.
AND, UH, THIS IS
OUR MOST RECENT RELEASE--
IT'S CALLED AAARRRG!
>> AAARRRG!?
>> THAT'S A PIRATE WORD.
IT MEANS, HELLO, GOODBYE,
PEACE. IT'S LIKE SHALOM,
ONLY FOR PIRATES.
>> INTERESTING.
>> MM, YEAH. WELL, YOU SEE,
YOU LEARN SOMETHING NEW
EVERY DAY.
>> YES, TODAY WE LEARNED
THE MEANING OF "ARRGGGG,"
AND THAT THE TWO COPS
IN MY APARTMENT ARE EVEN BIGGER
MORONS THAN WE THOUGHT.
Both: ARRRGGG!
>> WHO WANTS TO MAKE A MOVIE?
ARRRGGGG!
[MUSIC]
>> Man, on TV: RRR!
WALK THE PLANK!
>> NO!
>> ARRRGGG!
>> RRR, SING ME A DITTY!
>> NO!
>> RRRRR!
>> RRR! DANCE!
[MUSIC PLAYING]
>> RRRR!
[TURNS OFF TV]
>> WELL, THERE'S NOTHING ILLEGAL
ABOUT BAD ACTING.
>> I GUESS WE SHOULD PACK UP
OUR STUFF.
>> I'LL GO PULL
OUR CAR AROUND FRONT.
[KNOCK ON DOOR]
>> KNOCK KNOCK, ENTER, ENTER.
OH, I DIDN'T REALIZE
YOU HAD COMPANY.
FREDDIE, IT'S TIME FOR--
FREDWARD BENSON!
YOU GOT A TATTOO?
>> UH...
>> WE TOLD HIM IT WAS WRONG.
>> "FREDWARD"?
>> MOM, I--
>> YOU COME WITH ME RIGHT NOW.
>> WHERE?
>> TO A DOCTOR TO HAVE
THAT BLEMISH REMOVED!
>> NO! REMOVING TATTOOS
IS EXTREMELY PAINFUL.
>> SO IS BEING THE MOTHER
OF A DELINQUENT!
>> MOM, YOU'RE SCARING ME!
>> YOU GOT A TATTOO?!
>> SO, WHEN ARE YOU GONNA
TELL HIM IT'S A FAKE TATTOO?
>> AW, THE DOCTOR'LL
FIGURE IT OUT.
>> YOUR COUSIN FAKED IT?
>> YEP. TEMPORARY, BUT
ALL THE PAIN OF A REAL TATTOO.
>> MMMEAN!
>> COME ON. LET'S GO UPSTAIRS
AND START PLANNING
THE NEXT iCARLY.
>> AW, I DON'T WANNA WORK.
>> BEEF JERKY.
>> I'M COMIN'.
>> SO, PRETTY COOL,
YOU BEIN' A COP AND ALL.
>> THANKS.
>> GOT YOUR OWN HANDCUFFS
AND EVERYTHING.
>> OH, YEAH.
>> YOU KNOW, THERE'S AN EASY
TRICK TO GETTIN' OUT OF THOSE.
>> WHAT? NO, THERE'S NOT.
>> YEAH?
WANT ME TO TEACH YOU?
>> YOU CAN TRY.
>> ALL RIGHT, COME OVER HERE.
>> ALL RIGHT.
>> NOW, THE TRICK
IS TO STAY TOTALLY RELAXED.
BEND OVER THIS.
>> SURE, OKAY.
>> NOW WE JUST ATTACH THESE
TO YOUR WRIST.
>> ALL RIGHT.
OOH, THAT'S TIGHT.
>> THERE.
>> WOW. ALL RIGHT, NOW, UH...
HOW DO I GET OUT?
>> OH, YOU DON'T.
>> OH, WAIT, WHAT'S GOIN' ON?
>> PAYBACK, SPANKY!
>> NO! NO!
SPENCER, COME ON!
>> YEAH!
>> OW!
>> YEAH!
WATCH ME SPANK YOUR DADDY!
>> [LAUGHING]
>> CLOSE YOUR EYES! DON'T LOOK!
OW!
>> [LAUGHING]
[SPENCER AND SPANKY SHOUTING]
>> HI, MY NAME IS WILL,
AND I WANTED TO SHOW YOU
MY LITTLE FRIENDS.
AAH!
AAH! AAH!
AAH!
AAH! iCARLY RULES.
[OVEN BELL DINGS]
>> MMM!
[CAPTIONING PERFORMED BY
PEOPLESUPPORT